Saturday, November 05, 2011

Mom's dilemma : To feed OR not to feed

Kavya has been a healthy/chubby kid since beginning. She weighs between 45 and 50 lbs now when is close to 6 year old. While she is not really fat, she is getting there. She loves junk food and has a sweet tooth. Once she starts eating something that she likes, she just cannot stop and keeps asking for more and more.

So, as a mom, I am faced with a very hard task : How to tell her that its enough and that she is not getting any more ?

When she was little, I used to struggle to feed her - because she wouldn't want to eat. Now, the problem is exactly opposite - how do I get her to stop ? I want her to be healthy, but not fat/obese.

So, I try and explain her to control.. and often, even scold/shout if she doesn't stop.

It's even harder because Ishaan is relatively skinny and I want to make sure he eats enough.. So, I have one kid whom I need to feed, feed and feed and I have other kid whom I need to ask to eat less.

The other day, I prepared 2 snacks : one for Ishaan and one for Kavya. I put some Amul cheese for Ishaan, but not for Kavya. When Ishaan was eating his snack, Kavya noticed that he had some Amul Cheese. So, she immediately complained : "It's not fair that Ishaan gets cheese and I don't".

I know it's not fair - but how do I explain her ?
Some people say that as she grows up she will get more conscious of her looks on her own and will learn to control and diet. I really hope she does..

And my dear Kavya - if you ever read this in the future, mommy is sorry for not letting you eat too much of your favorite things - but please know that it is for your own good. Love you very much !!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Bought new house - hopefully its a good thing

We have been going back and forth for over a year - trying to decide if we should buy a new house and if so, in which area. We had agreed that it makes more sense for us to be in the south due to proximity to my work. We had also agreed that if we move, it wouldn't be just for the school, but also for a better life style - so the house should have a nice back yard and we should really like it. So, the choices mainly were Evergreen, Almaden and Los Gatos. Evergreen was our primary consideration since it had newer houses that one would easily like - however the hesitation there was that the high school was not that good. So, we would be in a similar boat 10 years later. Also, we had the impression that most of the houses in Almaden were old. So we were only checking out houses in Evergreen. However, after seeing Kamal-Vandana's new house as well as few other open houses in Almaden, we kinda started liking Almaden. Gaurav had run into an agent in one of the open houses and he was good at following up. So, we started seeing houses in Almaden. 2-3 weeks of open houses and we liked a house that we were willing to put an offer on.

Made the official offer on 7/31/2011. Then went back-and-forth on the terms/price and entered into official contract on 8/4/2011.

We had planned a 2 week vacation to NY/Toronto in the last 2 weeks. So, we were bit stressed with all the inspections, removal of contingencies and loan process that was ahead of us..

But by God's grace, everything fell in place. We enjoyed our 2 weeks of break and then ended up closing on 9/7/2011.

We did the "Ghado mukvano" ceremony on 9/8 and then moved in on 9/9/2011.

The next 2-3 weeks were spent in unpacking and setting up the new place. We were also tryin to rent out our old place ASAP at the same time. Fortunately, we found renters who were willing to start renting on 9/21/2011. So, it all worked out well.

We also tried to enroll Kavya in the neighborhood Greystone Elementary School for KG, however, since we were late in enrollment, all spaces in Greystone as well as other nearby good schools were full and they were offering us Allen Steinback as a fall-back school which we didn't like. So, while we had withdrawn Kavya's admission to Stratford, we had to re-enroll her. **Sigh** Felt bad spending the money for private school after spending so much on the house.. We were upset for few days, but then moved on. On the positive side a consolation was that she was building a stronger base that will help her in the long run.

That's what has been keeping us busy for past couple of months and hence the decrease in blogging activity.

Hopefully, Kavya will get into the neighborhood school latest by 1st grade and we will all live happily ever after in this new house :) If not ever after, at least for another 16 years (till Ishaan completes high school) Time will tell..

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Ishaan's first month at school

After seeing Ishaan play happily for 1 hour for the first 2-3 days at his new school (Montessori Way), we were hoping that Ishaan would have no problem when he starts full time. June 27 thru July 1st ( 9 to 3) was his first full week at school. I decided to work from home that week since the school is very near our place - so, in case there were any issues, I can go and pick-up Ishaan very quickly.

Our hopes were soon shattered. The first day I go to drop off Ishaan, he didn't want to let go of me. He cried. I stayed there for some time, but then on teacher's suggestion I left. I felt very bad, but hoped he would stop crying as the activities resume and he got busy. I called a couple of hours later and he was still crying.
I picked him up around 3:00. He was happy to see me, but he was in bad shape due to lot of crying. He had fallen asleep due to weariness from crying, but didn't really eat well or do anything else.

Communication was also a big issue since Ishaan only spoke and understood Gujarati. The teachers at Montessori Way asked me for translation of few words and sentences so that it would help them in communication. Despite their effort, the crying continued.

The same thing continued the 2nd day. Infact, he had now started resisting at home while getting ready too.

Since I was picking him up around 3:00, I had told Ishaan that I will come to pick him up right after he wakes up. So, then he wanted to go to sleep by 10:00 am so that I would pick him up sooner. On the 3rd day, the teacher let him sleep early and then I got a call around 1:00 asking to pick him up since he had woken up from sleep and was crying and disturbing other kids who were sleeping. I really didn't like that approach since I wondered why can't the teacher just take him to other room or outside - but I think they were understaffed that day.

The next day they tried to keep him awake till 11:00 am but because of crying, he was tried and so almost falling asleep while eating.

The struggle continued for the entire week. Ishaan also started waking up in the middle of the night and crying in his sleep uncontrollably - nothing could calm him for quite some time (in fact he did that when we went camping over the july 4th long weekend and woke everyone up at 2:00 am). We didn't really know how to deal with this.

We had started thinking of other options - either I take a leave of absence for few months (although we would be in a similar situation after few months) OR try out Bright Horizon or ask Binduben if she could help.

At the end of first week, I asked his teacher what she thought - if we should continue or withdraw. She said she hasn't seen any kid who has cried so much - so much that he doesn't even stop .. So, its hard for them as well to focus with a kid crying all the time - but she was hopeful and suggested that we try out for few more days. She said it will be the same thing elsewhere and the moving around is not good for the kid either.

Ishaan loves cars. So, I bought some hot wheels die-cast cars and gave it to the teacher and asked her to give 1 to Ishaan everyday as a bribe, hoping that it would help him to like/adjust to the new environment. The teacher did that. While Ishaan liked getting the car and it would calm him down temporarily, the struggle continued for most part in the 2nd week as well.

Here are few incidents from next couple of weeks as I remember them :

One of our friend (Shilpi Desai) used to drop off her son in the same school at 9:00 and pick him up at noon. So, I would call her at noon to ask if Ishaan was crying. Somedays, he was crying, other days he was not, but still sad.

One day when Shilpi went to pick up Rishaan, the teachers requested if she could talk to him in Gujarati and ask him to eat his lunch. So, Shilpi told him in Gujarati that if he doesn't eat his lunch, they will give it to the other kids. Ishaan didn't like the idea of giving away his food to other kids - so he started eating :)

One day he was resisting and crying really hard when I was walking him from car to this school building. One of the parents actually came to help and they carried Ishaan to the class door for me. Then while I waited outside to see if he had calmed down, I almost cried, but the parent advised that it was not a good idea to wait outside and that she had been through that as well.

One of the later days, when Shilpi was picking up Rishaan, Ishaan went to her and asked why is my mumma not coming to pick me up early ? It broke my heart when I heard that - making it seem more likely that I might take some time off to spend with Ishaan.

However, 3 weeks later, his resistance starting slowing down. While he wasn't very happy when I left him at school, he wasn't crying.

After almost 1 month of trying, Ishaan was feeling comfortable in school. He wasn't crying or resisting. He had also started picking up some English. His sleep crying at night had also become rare (and we had found a way to calm him down by asking some questions that he could answer and get distracted). We were happy and relieved that we survived the 1 month struggle period.

Now my fear is that we will be taking 2 week vacation to go to NY and Toronto in later half of August. Will Ishaan be able to adjust after we get back? I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

...And Kavya lost her first tooth already !!

Friday evening, all of a sudden, Kavya came running to me with something in her hand and screaming, "Mommy, look, look". I took a closer look and realized that she was showing me her tooth that just fell off. She was so happy and excited. She was waiting for this day.

Gaurav and I took pictures of her remaining teeth to show the space in between.
We then put the teeth in a ziploc bag to put under her pillow along with the note she had written for the tooth fairy.

We noticed that the new teeth is already coming out, but it is slightly on the inside - so most likely she would need braces when she grows up to align her teeth.

That night, Kavya forgot to put the note with the teeth and I had the 10 mile run on Saturday morning. So, we forgot to put some goodie in place of her tooth. She was a bit upset when she woke up in the morning (sorry dear !!), but then Gaurav explained to her that the tooth fairy must be very busy and that she also didn't put the note for tooth fairy.

So, she remembered put the note and teeth under her pillow last night .. and she was very happy this morning to find $10 in place of them. She didn't really have much interest in the money, but she was happy to know that the tooth fairy had come. Although she has asked us a couple of times already if the tooth fairy is actually real :)

One tooth down, 19 more to go over the next 2-3 years.

Monday, July 04, 2011

Kavya's first tooth is loose !

We went camping with lots of friends (there were 38 of us including 13 kids, 6 parents and rest young adults :) ) to Brannan Island State Park in Sacramento County yesterday. Soon after we had set up and kids had started playing, Kavya came up to me and said her lower middle teeth was moving. She was so excited !! So far, she had only heard about baby teeth falling off and getting a special gift from tooth fairy. But now it was actually happening to her. She showed it to everyone and kept on moving the teeth.

When we got home from camping earlier today, she wrote a letter to the tooth fairy making a request for a special gift (princess slate to play pictionary).

Later in the evening, we met other friends at Ruchir-Sheel's place and she showed her loose teeth to everyone there. Anusha actually pointed out that the new teeth is already showing.

My little princess is growing up! Its scary and exciting at the same time.

Ishaan's first week at school

After seeing Ishaan play happily for 1 hour for the first 2-3 days at his new school (Montessori Way), we were hoping that Ishaan would have no problem when he starts full time. June 27 thru July 1st was his first full week (reduced hours) at school. I decided to work from home that week since the school is very near our place - so, in case there were any issues, I can go and pick-up Ishaan very quickly. I would drop Ishaan around 8:30 to 9:00 am and pick him up at 2:30 pm.

Overall, the first week was very hard on Ishaan. He kept crying the entire time. He terribly misses his Jyotsna ba and Koki ba. Due to the 1-hour trial days, he got used to being picked up in relatively small amount of time while he was playing outside. However, now that he had to have lunch at school and also take a nap there, he was upset. As per the teacher, nothing they would do or say would calm him. He cried almost all the time he was awake. He would get so tired from crying that he would get sleepy by 10:30 am. On Wednesday, they actually called me at 1:30 saying that Ishaan just woke up from sleep and he is not calming down - so if I could pick him up early it will help other kids who were still napping. He even did not eat properly at school during that week. I would feed him his lunch and snack after I pick him up.

If I ask Ishaan why he was crying, he would say because mommy wasn't there (Mumma nohti). We tried to explain him that Mommy-daddy have to go to work and that Jyotsna ba has gone to London and Koki ba has gone to India. Also, tried to bribe him that if he did not cry at school, then I will take him to toysrus and buy his favorite toy. But nothing really worked. Later in the week, he also started waking up crying in the middle of night - and when he did that, we could not even touch him or hug him - he would just be very violent for 5-10 mins.

I feel bad for him.. This change seems to be really hard for him.. but then he has to learn this some day.
The school is off during the July 4th week - So, Gaurav and I are going to taking turns at staying at home with Ishaan. So, when he goes back to school on Monday, 7/11, its going to be all over again. I hope he adjusts soon. Keeping my fingers crossed...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Kavya can ride a bike without training wheels

Kavya has been riding bike for almost 3 years now with training wheels. We had made few unsuccessful attempts in the past few months to teach her to ride without training wheels. Finally, our attempt recently was successful. The motivation for us as well as Kavya came from our community kids who would gather in one of the alleys in the evening and have fun either playing something or riding their bikes/scooters and most of the kids there (some even younger than Kavya) rode without the training wheels.

So, almost a month back, we took off one of her training wheels. Then she started leaning heavily on the other side. So, we took off the other training wheel as well. She got little frustrated since she didn't know how to balance yet and gave up that day. Few days later, she tried again and she did a better job this time. Finally, on June 8th, she was able to ride in our alley on her own. She still needed help to get started. However, once she started to paddle, she could continue till she put down her feet. With some more practice later that day, it seemed like she got the hang of it.

We did not get a chance to practice for almost 10 days in between. Finally, when she tried again yesterday (June 19th), she had regressed a little and did not have confidence to ride on her own. We did not force her then. Today, we went for a walk and asked her to ride her bike along. She was ready. Initial few minutes were little difficult, but once she got to ride on relatively straight patch few times, she got her confidence back. She biked really well today and was also able to get started on her own. She also learnt how to use her brakes. Really awesome job by Kavya today. We were so proud of her and she was very happy too !!

She now needs to learn to slow down at each turn and use her brakes more than her legs to stop.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Finally, Ishaan calls out Kavya's name correctly

We never intended Ishaan to address Kavya as 'didi'. We always wanted him to call her by name. However, somehow he started calling her 'didi'. When asked what is didi's name, he would respond 'Kayva' (notice y and v are reversed). We always tried to correct him and hoped that he would get her name right one day.

One of Kavya's friend's name is Divya and I noticed that Ishaan would say that name properly. So, I tried to use that to teach him to say Kavya - I would tell him to say "Divya", "Davya", "Navya", "Kavya" - But someone he would say all names except Kavya correctly. May be he was doing it intentionally :)

But finally today, he magically got it right. He started calling her Kavya and enjoys it when we acknowledge the correction.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Ishaan's first day at school

Since Jyotsna masi is leaving for London/India on June 27th, we had to find a good/near by school for Ishaan. After visiting few schools and reading some reviews, we decided to go for Montessori Way. Priyank-Shilpi's son, Rishaan, has been going there for few months now and I got good reviews from Shilpi too. I also liked the teacher, the classroom and the fees were also reasonable. AND best of all, it was less than a mile from our place.

Ishaan will start full time school on Monday, June 27th, but just to get him used to the idea of school, I decided to put him for an hour today (June 16th) and couple of days next week when I will be working from home. We all had been mentally prepping him for school by telling him about the school and teacher and all the fun stuff. Also, I had taken with him with me to see his school when I went to turn in the enrollment paperwork - he really liked the school and the different toys there and didn't want to leave then. So, I was hoping that the one hour on first day of school won't be too bad.


He got ready early because we told him he had to go to school. When I reached his class, one of the helper teachers (Armeena) came over and took him away. She then gave him a toy and he happily started playing with it. I called him to say bye-bye and he merrily waved. I was very relieved.

Little over an hour later, when I went to pick him up, he was on the playground riding in a car. He saw me, but didn't want to leave :) He went around in his car for some more time and then he was ready to leave. He waived good-bye to everyone and came home with me.


I asked him if he had fun at school.. and he said yes! So, I asked him if he had little fun or lot of fun (gujarati version) and he said lot of fun :)

I am a happy mom. Will see how he does next week and the week after when he actually starts full time. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Ishaan is a cute chatterbox

Ishaan has become a constant chatterbox lately.
He keeps talking and asking questions like where, why, what happened ALL the time.

Yesterday, at 10:00 pm, I was tired and he was still very playful and kept on talking and talking. Finally, I asked him to stop talking because my head was hurting. He didn't understand the connection between his talking and my head hurting, but he understood that my head was hurting. So, he immediately responded "mumma, tu dava lai le" ("Mommy, you take some medicine" :)

We all burst out laughing :)