Kavya : learning to write

Kavya is gradually beginning to write letters and numbers. She has been able to type her name and other things on a computer for a while now, but now, she is starting to write on paper. Some of her letters are upside down or backward.. but the important thing is that she is making the attempt. Here is a picture of how she wrote her name for the first time..

Ishaan : 2 months old today

Time really flies. Just some time back, we were eagerly waiting for Ishaan to arrive and today he is 2 months old already.

Past two months have been ... umm... interesting. While Ishaan is our 2nd kid, we had almost forgotten the experiences with Kavya at this age. So, this time is a good memory refresher.

Ishaan is a relatively good kid. I say relatively because each kid is different and some kids are easier in some respect than others. We are finding it somewhat easy to handle Ishaan than Kavya - now this could be due to multiple reasons - Foremost being we have been through this before - so 2nd time is usually easier. Also, right now Kavya is at a age where she demands much more of our energy and time than Ishaan. So, you just feel that handling Ishaan is so much easier :). Additionally, Kavya had colic during the first 3 months or so and so that had set our expectations really low with Ishaan.. but Ishaan does not seem to have colic. So, we feel happy and relieved about it.

Of course, like any other infant, Ishaan does have good and not-so-good times. He seems to be very impatient. When he is hungry, he has to have milk at that instant. And since we are bottle feeding him my expressed milk during the day, it takes 2-3 mins to heat the water and then warm up the milk in the water.. But Ishaan can't wait.. He will cry at the top of his voice till you put the bottle nipple in his mouth.. I wish he would understand that milk is only 2 mins away :)
The other problem is that he gets too gassy. No matter what I eat, he gets lot of gas and so sometimes it makes him so uncomfortable that he cries. He even wakes up due to gas sometimes.. Poor baby..

Other than that, he is a delight to hold and play with. He has now started smiling and when you see that smile first thing in the morning, you are sure to have a wonderful day ahead !

Kavya is still a kid - let her enjoy her childhood

Couple of days back, I was talking to my mama on the phone and he gave me an interesting advice. He said that just because you now have Ishaan, don't take away the childhood from Kavya by expecting her to be grown up. She is still a kid.

We have always been cautious about not letting Kavya feel jealous or feel left out after we had Ishaan, but my uncle's advice really made me wonder if we were guilty of expecting too much from Kavya.

We do expect her to behave properly and not be very naughty and understand when it is OK to do certain things and when not. But I want to think of that as discipline and teaching good manners and not really taking the childhood away. Even if Ishaan wasn't in the picture, we would have expected that. Or am I just thinking that because I don't want to feel guilty ? :) It is hard to decide.

Anyways, it is a very useful advice - something that will always come to mind when I expect too much from my little Kavya.

Kavya's pediatrician had also once mentioned something similar a while back - although that was in context of education. She said that when we look back at our lives, what we very fondly remember is our childhood because we have had fun at that age. So, don't burden your child with ABCs and 123s at an early age if they don't want to. Let them enjoy their childhood. They will learn ABCs and 123s sooner or later. How true ? Especially Indian parents have a mentality of teaching their kids everything early on.. but what we often times don't realize is that in the long schema of things, it does not really matter if they learn the ABCs when they are 2 yrs old or 4 yrs old.

Does dealing with 2 kids really take four times the effort ?

Before we had Ishaan, we had heard that with 2 kids, its not double the work, but its really four times the work. In a way, I disagree with that statement. Yes, it is certainly more work.. But not four times.. It may seem four times sometimes due to the nature of work.

So, how has my experience been so far ? Well, my experience is that we have to spend more time with Kavya than Ishaan and since Kavya is at an age where she kind of understands everything, but then has a mind of her own, it becomes extremely challenging to not loose patience and calm. For Ishaan, he needs to be fed and changed and put to bed as per his routine and thats pretty much it. He is now getting to a point where he is enjoying interaction and loves to talk and hence demands attention.

But for Kavya - we need to have her routine pretty much the same way as it was before Ishaan and also make sure that she does not feel jealous. So, for almost a month after we had Ishaan, Gaurav would spend most of his time with Kavya - trying to keep her happy and occupied while I took some rest to recover and took care of Ishaan's basic needs.

For most part, Kavya does not seem to feel jealous. Sometimes, she does want to be held and fed like Ishaan - but then what do you expect from a 3 year old ? She likes to be involved with Ishaan. Most of the times, when we need to change Ishaan's diaper, Kavya will run and get us the diaper and wipes. She also likes to hold Ishaan in her lap. She tries to play with him with rattle and other toys, but soon realizes that he is too little to play.

My advice for any parents who are even planning on having 2nd kid would be to keep the age difference to under 3-4 years. Yes, it will be little difficult for you in the beginning, but in the long run, the siblings will bond better - atleast that's been my experience growing up.

I am looking forward to few months down the road when Ishaan and Kavya will play together and then we will not have to worry about attention and jealously any more.. Of course, then there will be fights and new challenges :)